


Kiryuuin family goes to a host club

by Kalduin



Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: F/F, Nobody likes Kuroido, Nui is pleyah, Ragyo loves her booze a bit too much, Ragyo vomits on Takarada, Ryuuko can't hold alcohol for shit, Ryuuko is mecha fan, Satsuki loves Zatoichi, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:46:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalduin/pseuds/Kalduin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good AU Ragyo decides to take her three daughters to her favourite place, a host club. Booze, ladies and vomit get involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiryuuin family goes to a host club

Kiryuuin Ragyo, richest person in the world, and mother of three daughters, had one thing she really loved: host clubs. It was only natural to introduce this lifestyle to her beloved daughters, good mother like she was.

The eldest, Satsuki, only sighed in resignation. She knew it was impossible to avoid this whim of their mother's.  
Second born Ryuuko was very loud in her displeasure. Rest of the family found it cute how tomboyish, yet so innocent Ryuuko, was going redder and redder at the mere thought of family trip to host club.  
Young Nui simply went with the flow and supported idea wholeheartedly. It might have something to do with Nui's unstoppable energy and desire to see and conquer everything in her path.

Commanding Hououmaru to drive her limousine, Ragyo shoved her girls in and took honour seat, equipped with some champagne. Her attempts to have Ryuuko drink with her failed, when middle daughter pressed herself as close to Satsuki as possible and hid her face into her older sister's shoulder.  
Nui on the other hand was more than happy to help mama empty some bottles. Satsuki frowned more than usual. It was well known fact that while Nui inherited Ragyo's love for alcohol, it was the daughter who had resistance required for heavy drinking. Their mother was known for drinking more than she could hold. This was going to be a long night...

Their arrival was flashy as always. Mama Kiryuuin refused to do anything without dramatics. Tipping the porter to not open the door for her, she kicked it open while yelling: „The Kiryuuins are in da house!“  
Champagne had apparently started working.  
„She just didn't say it...,“ Ryuuko groaned facepalming.  
Satsuki merely sighed.  
Nui ran past them, hands wide on both side like a bird, giggling when she discovered new unknown.

Ragyo, being their top client, got large booth for her entire family. Money and Kiryuuin name did open many doors. And allowed to kick open more without anyone complaining. There were rumours (and Hououmaru had confirmed them to Satsuki while sighing over payments she had to oversee) that Kiryuuin Ragyo had fascination with dragon dildos and some of her personal hosts had been involved with her close enough to feel it in them. Thanks to the power of understanding (and loads of money Rei had paid out) no one didn't raise complaints over some hurting anuses.

Ragyo ordered new patch of any alcoholic beverage she could think of and indulged in trying to get an alcohol poisoning. Satsuki sat in silence, regal and frowning, deciding to live through the evening while concentrating to what she will do later to drown this horrible memory: her fascination to calligraphy and anything Zatoichi related.

Nui on the other hand was enjoying herself immensely. She had quickly attracted a group of identical looking Nudist Host Girls, who were now piled on top of the youngest Kiryuuin.

Ryuuko ranked in the middle of her sisters. Sitting in corner, red in face and trying to make herself smaller, while sipping juice. She didn't have the will to calm herself (or even desire to think to her mecha anime and figurine collection to ease the embarrassment she felt at the moment) nor the desire to go with the flow.  
As if to punctuate her distress, two hosts entered their booth. Pink haired young woman occupied territory next to Ryuuko, obviously going to conquer the shy looking innocent, who was trying to hide in her hoodie, hands in pockets.  
The other, a brown haired girl with coconut haircut, tried to pull Satsuki's attention.

Pinkette gave Ryuuko smirk: „I'm Nonon, what's your name?“  
„....“  
„Sorry, I don't think I heard ya? Try again perhaps?“  
„Ryuuko...“  
„You really new to this,“ Nonon smirked and her eyes flicked to Ragyo who was trying to sing Titanic's theme song with both hands holding bottles. „Your mom brought you here?“  
Ryuuko gave nod with weak smile.  
„Well, doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, ah?“ Nonon elbowed blushing Ryuuko to ribs.  
To Ryuuko surprise, she was quite fast being pulled out from her self-induced seclusion. Sarcastic and witty Nonon turned Ryuuko's world upside down that night.

Meanwhile Satsuki, who tried to continue sitting in regal pose as usual, had her attention pleasantly pulled away from „I fucking hate my mother“ mode by coconut headed somewhat crazy host girl, who managed to intrigue rational Satsuki with her very irrational speeches. It wasn't every day you met someone, who managed to include Godzilla, Freud and applesauce in one sentence while actually making it connected to higher philosophy. Satsuki was intrigued.

Ragyo had reached next step in her drunken stupor that manifested in her trying to dance on table while juggling empty bottles. Stress on word „trying“ as only thing she managed was to hit herself in the head, fall down on floor and sing half-slurred lullaby about dragon dildos and asses.  
Any host who still tried to pretend to be amusing their golden customer, quickly moved to the youngest Kiryuuin, who enjoyed the large audience she had.

The evening came to end faster than Ryuuko would have thought. At appointed time, Hououmaru „Ultimate Linchpin“ Rei, Ragyo's personal assistant and the sole reason why Kiryuuin household even functioned, walked in and after covering expenses, carried her now mostly unconscious boss to limousine. 

Nonon, who was staring how lot shorter dark skinned woman heaved tall Kiryuuin matron on her back and carried her away in piggyback style, expressed her wonder: „You look like pro in boss carrying.“  
„It's in my contract,“ came short reply from always professional Rei.

Pulling Nui out from bundle of Nudist Host Girl, Satsuki pushed her youngest sister to the door.  
„Time to go, Nui.“  
Nui's leaving was accompanied by yells („See you next time, Nui-sama!“) and blond girl's energetic waving to her newfound buddies.

Ryuuko looked uncertain. When she heard of her mother's plan, she had thought she'd run like hell when time comes, but now she felt sadness of leaving the snarky pinkette behind her. Satsuki gave her raised eyebrow, then locked eyes with Nonon, who nodded. Confused by this wordless exchange, Ryuuko stared from one to other: „The hell? Someone mind telling me when did you two become telepathic?“  
Satsuki didn't bother answering, instead turned to whisper something to coconut haired girl, whose name sounded like Mako, from what Ryuuko managed to hear.  
Nonon snorted at Ryuuko's comment and elbowed her in the ribs.  
„To you, mere mortals, who haven't mastered the great art of telepathy, I'll spell it out for you, Shy Girl,“ Nonon declared looking up to snorting Ryuuko's face with wide smirk.  
„I'm coming with your bunch. I'll end my workday and this is now my free time.“  
Nonon's words made Ryuuko's eyes widen and she blushed, before turning to look away from Nonon's knowing grin.  
„Well, whatever. It's not like I...“  
„Not like you, what, Shy Girl?“ Nonon stepped under Ryuuko's nose, her condescending smirk worse than ever.  
„Screw you,“ came Ryuuko's eloquent reply. But her voice lacked anything offensive and both knew what Ryuuko wanted. Giving quick peck on Ryuuko's lips, making taller girl restore her lost mad blush she had sported before, Nonon turned around to make last preparations for leaving.

It was quite merry bunch who entered Kiryuuin limousine. Rei had provided her boss with some ice, Ragyo had tried to place on her head and instead ended stuffing her cleavage with cold cubics. At least it had desired result of making her more or less awake. This again meant she went back into cuddling another opened bottle like it was her baby.

Nui was most cheerful, waving her legs and singing some children's song with her own invented (and obscene) lyrics. Ryuuko stood outside of the limousine waiting for Nonon. She locked eyes with Satsuki who seemed to be waiting as well.  
„That coconut head is coming?“ Ryuuko smirked at her older sister.  
Satsuki gave her serious nod, but Ryuuko could swore she saw light blush on taller girl's cheeks.  
„Mako allowed me to accompany her to a walk. We are not coming with the car.“ Seeing Nonon exit with Mako right behind her, Satsuki gave Ryuuko a smile: „Have fun, little sister.“

Extending her arm to Mako like a real knight in white, Satsuki and always bubbly Mako left the group. Nonon gave them one look before turning to Ryuuko. „Who would have guessed Mankanshoku would hit off with that scary looking sister of yours, Shy Girl.“  
„Drop with the Shy Girl bullshit, will ya?“ Ryuuko's cheeks had flushed again, this time from mixture of embarrassment and irritation.  
„Nope,“ Nonon cheekily replied, flicking Ryuuko's nose before diving into limousine. „You have to prove me you ain't a shy girl, Shy Girl! Like actually not going red like a tomato when seeing my titties!“  
Nonon's last (and very loud declaration) had the desired effect when Ryuuko achieved new shade of red and quickly jumped in limousine yelling Nonon to shut up.

Seeing her miscreants all packed in, Rei took off.

Takarada Kaneo, self-titulated King of Osaka, was having grand time driving through streets of Tokyo with his golden ferrari. While considering the capital beneath his home town, it was sometimes good to take a look at his enemy's territory. Ironically, said enemies were closer than he thought. Maybe, if Ragyo's wish to have her limousine painted rainbow coloured, would have gone through, Takarada might have noticed the approaching doom earlier. But Hououmaru had put her foot down and declared that she refuses to drive anything that isn't white. For once Ragyo lost. It might have done something with Satsuki and Ryuuko throwing their support behind Rei while Nui voted for frilly limousine. No one wanted to think how that would even work.

Back to King of Osaka, who was enjoying his ride lot more than he will be just a bit later. Noticing approaching white limousine in the back of his mind, Takrada turned his face to sneer at it when it reached his car. It was then he noticed window being pulled down and familiar face of his nemesis conglomerate's leader being pressed out.  
„Oya, oya, if it isn't Kiryuuin Ragyo-han...“  
Takarada's words were cut short when Ragyo, not even noticing Kaneo, unleashed the insides of her stomach right into King of Osaka's face.

Accompanied by „MOM, NO!“ Ryuuko's arms wrapped around Ragyo and pulled her back in. For her troubles, Ryuuko got a bottle of sake shoved into her mouth after Ragyo had stared at her daughter's face for good ten seconds in confusion.  
Nonon was howling in laughter against Ryuuko, who was now coughing after accidentally swallowing a mouthful.  
„Is she always so amusing?! I'm gonna love your family, Ryuu-chan!“

One lone man in former golden, now mostly golden, ferrari, had hit lamp post after his field of vision had been covered with certain disgusting matter.  
„DAMN YOU, KIRYUUINS! ALWAYS AMBUSHING ME!“  
Takarada swore to never step his foot out of Osaka again. And have his people be extra vigilant of any of those damn Kiryuuins would approach his stronghold.

Some time after defiling Takarada's gaudy clothes with her puke, Ragyo's limousine reached Kiryuuin Manor. Hououmaru dragged her (again unconscious) boss out and carried her in on her back, using a chance to pass a kick to steward Kuroido's shins, using Ragyo's hanging legs.

Nonon had to hold to Ryuuko's shoulder to stop from falling over due to laughing too hard. Ryuuko pulled her hood over her face, but her shaking shoulders gave away suffocated laughter. Nui didn't even bother hiding her amusement when she loudly declared „Pig Kicking“ and landing her own, lot harder pink boot kick to unpleasant steward's shin.

Rei dropped Ragyo to her bedroom, did her usual duties (as in undressing her completely drunk boss, covering her with blanket and putting lights out) before locking herself to her own rooms and recovering through her hobby: texting to her secret sharp toothed girlfriend. Not that her relationship was very secret after Nui had one day seen her with Hakodate. The teasing she got from Nui wasn't as bad as the mirthful declaration from Ragyo that Rei is suppressing her desire to bang her youngest daughter. Something Rei found absolutely scandalous as just because they had long blond twintails did not mean Omiko or Nui had anything else common. That irritation might have been the reason why Hououmaru had not put Ragyo's headache pills near her reach this time. Let her crawl around with hangover this time.

Ryuuko had lead Nonon to her room while feeling her heart pound faster and faster with each step she took. Whether it was because she was alone with this cute pinkette or was her ridiculously low alcohol tolerance kicking in from Ragyo's forceful bottle shove, she wasn't sure. And she didn't have time to think of it either as Nonon's commentary occupied most of Ryuuko's brain.  
„So this is your room, Shy Girl? Is that... you collect mecha figurines?“ Nonon turned her mirthful eyes to Ryuuko who blushed to the roots of her hair.  
„W-what of it!?“  
„Mm, nothing. I guess it's kinda cute,“ Nonon mused, looking at Ryuuko's darkening blush. She really was cute like that, Nonon's thought.  
Stepping closer to Ryuuko, Nonon raised to her toes and kissed taller girl. It was the most breathtaking thing Ryuuko had experienced in her entire life. Without words and her trademark smirk, Nonon pushed Ryuuko to her bed and climbed on top of her, caressing raven haired girl's cheeks.  
„I guess it goes without saying it's your first time, Shy Girl. Ryuuko.“ Nonon drawling her name out made Ryuuko's heart beat even faster. Her mouth was dry and no words came out. But Nonon seemed to understand what was going on in her mind as she smiled more gently than before while letting Ryuuko get more comfortable position in her bed. Helping taller girl kick her shoes off, Nonon turned to look back at Ryuuko and... froze.  
„You gotta be fucking kidding me...,“ Nonon stared in disbelief. Ryuuko had fallen asleep in mere moment.  
„But that... was like one mouthful... what a fucking lightweight...“ Pinkette shook her head and snorted. Well, whatever. She pulled blanket over both of them and nuzzled to Ryuuko while wrapping her hands around taller girl. This would do for this night. But she'd make Ryuuko pay for this lackluster ending later. Oh she would, Nonon smirked to herself.

Ragyo had refused to leave her room for three days due to hangover. Hououmaru had the bed incinerated for sanitary purposes. Not only was something overused and dirty spreading bacteria, it disgusted her that there could be possibility that Madame might drag her to the same bed one day.

Fourth day saw Ragyo finally out from her room.  
„Madame,“ Hououmaru's voice cut right through Ragyo's still aching head. „Please sit straight.“  
„I'm the boss of this house... I sit how I wanna...“ Came slurred reply.  
„Indeed, Madame. And as the head of Kiryuuin Household, you must show example. And having your face planted onto table while mumbling does not count as one.“

On the either side of the table, Nonon nudged Ryuuko and whispered: „Is she always so amusing?“  
Ryuuko dropped her head in shame.

The day after their fateful host club visit had shown some changes in Kiryuuin household. While matron had locked herself away to her bedroom, Ryuuko caught Nonon's hand and gave her begging look when pinkette started to leave.  
Nonon smirked: „I'm going to be expensive to keep, you know.“  
Plopping herself back to Ryuuko's bed, she pulled blushing raven hair into another kiss.  
They had cuddled the entire day, Ryuuko's hangover being nasty version. Nonon made mental note to herself to never let alcohol near Ryuuko ever again. This girl was lot more fun while sober.

Nui was same as always, only instead of gloating with her usual solo play skills, she was now gloating about her fantasies regarding Nudist Host Club girls. And the orgasms she had gotten from her images. And the orgasms she will be getting in next time she'll give them when they meet again.

Satsuki was seen rather scarcely in the house during following days. Donning her finest pantsuit and flowers, she was leaving early and coming back lately. Apparently the rational and reserved first born of Kiryuuin daughters had found attractive opposing force in one Mankanshoku Mako. Their walk after leaving Host club that night had produced a lot of intellectual discussions that had made rational and logical Satsuki more than fascinated. Something in Mako confused Satsuki in a good way. Including how Mako had absent mindedly ate Satsuki's flowers the first time, while staring into taller girl's eyes. Not to mention she was adorable as Satsuki noticed over and over again.

It was said couple who appeared during Ragyo's first day out, just after Nonon had asked her question.  
„Oh, Satsuki-chan, look! It's a rainbow! A real rainbow!“ Mako started fondling Ragyo's hair. Ragyo, face still pressed against the table, had only one thing to say: „Satsuki... if you intend to bring THAT to family, I swear, I disown you...“

Satsuki didn't reply. Taking out her phone, she picked Lordi's „Hard Rock Hallelujah“ and played it in full volume against her mother's ear. Ragyo's used graceful technique of slipping under table and started sobbing in her eternal hangover and hatred for loud noises.

All was fine in Kiryuuin house.


End file.
